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The better the high, the worse the comedown. I’m not sure that it’s an entirely accurate aphorism, but it seems pretty apt today. I was really really happy for like 2 solid days, and now my body has decided that I should feel old and worn out. I felt like I wanted chocolate frosting, so I made myself some. I started eating it, and it was good for a while, and then it became gross and made me feel sicker than I had before. Sometimes it seems to me that the more you like something, the worse it is when it turns sour on you. I’m sure part of the bitterness is the memory of how good it was. Not only is what you have now sour, it’s nothing like as sweet as it was. At least with something that started out bad, you expect it to stay bad. I think half the pain of the comedown is the pain of comparison. Oh God I feel like crap. Are these ridiculous mood swings part of being human, part of being a woman, or just part of being me? I feel like my namesake in The Nightmare Before Christmas. I’m so great when I’m all sewn together, but my seams keep ripping and I have to keep repairing myself, sewing myself back up. But every time I sew myself back up, I lose a little of the stuffing. I never put myself back together quite right. If I were a better seamstress, perhaps I would stop ripping. I suppose the problem could also be in my inferior materials. But how do I learn to sew better with my metaphorical thread? It’s not like I can go to psychological sewing class. Dude I totally feel like I’m going to throw up. Maybe I should do that. Or not. Oh I’m so bloody indecisive.

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2 Comments

  1. Love this blog I’ll be back when I have more time.

  2. Mood swings… part of being you, part of being woMan.. the trick, or waht i try to tell myself is to be ‘present perfect’ in the moment. not easy, but …

    loved that ‘sewn together’ great one..


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