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Seriously, my body hates me.

Okay, my periods started when I was nine. That was fourth grade. The cramps actually hadn’t started yet. The cramps didn’t start until I was 10 and had had about 8 blessedly pain-free periods.

But they did start. Oh God, did they start. I would take 2 ibuprofens, lie in bed with a heating pad and cry because it hurt so badly. They came either the first day or the second, lasted 3 days, then they subsided. But I missed a helluva lot of school because of them. They lasted like that until I was in eighth grade.

On top of the cramps, when I was about 12, I started getting migraines. They weren’t always when I had my period, but about half the time, they were. What people who don’t have migraines don’t seem to understand about them is that they are not like headaches. It’s not just the weird symptoms that are different, it’s the fact that it feels like you have a letter opener in your brain and whenever you see bright light or hear voices that aren’t quiet or soothing, it feels like the letter opener gets twisted ninety degrees. I could bet on missing a day of school every month for those too, due to the fact that one could bet that, while I had a migraine, I was intellectually useless. I was noticeably insane in my opinion.

So then there was the summer before high school, in which I had a doctor’s appointment, at which my doctor prescribed birth control. So I started taking a low dosage of the pill. I still got periods, but now, I knew that they came on Wednesdays, and so I could prepare. The cramps were much less painful and my migraines didn’t come except on my period or when I had serious amounts of stress. It was better, mostly.

The problem was, I could only get one pack at a time. So a lot of times, I’d forget to get the pills, and then, I was screwed because, whereas they weren’t entirely consistent before, my cramps came with a vengeance with my period when I didn’t take the pills.

Then I went back to Kaiser. They let me have a whole year’s worth of pills, and my doctor told me that I didn’t actually have to have periods as long as I wasn’t sexually active, which sounded like heaven to me; I’d just skip the “blank” week and start a new pack.

But with the old system, my period wouldn’t start until four days after the last real pill. I forgot to take my pill while I was at Claire’s house, and I forgot to take it last night, and yet HERE is my period, WITH my cramps, making my life HELL. PLUS the chocolate craving. HOW STUPID. And low blood pressure. Seriously, I HATE MY BODY BECAUSE IT HATES ME. FUCK YOU, BODY.

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2 Comments

  1. I’m sorry to hear this. And I don’t think you quite mean “fuck you, body,” unless I am mistaken. And I remember you missing school a lot.

  2. P.S. I don’t get cramps! And I’ve had like two migraines in my life! LADEEDA! …don’t kill me, please.


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